You’ve got a crush. They text you back. Your heart flutters… and then panic sets in.
What do I say?
How do I sound confident, not clingy?
Can someone please just tell me what to text so I don’t come off like a weirdo?
Totally normal thoughts.
The truth is, flirting over text can be a delicate art — but it doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need pickup lines or perfectly timed emojis. You just need a little intention (and maybe a pinch of boldness).
The good news? With a few small tweaks, you can actually spark connection, create chemistry, and yes — make someone start liking you back… all through a screen.
Here’s how to text smart, not desperate.
First: What Actually Matters When You’re Texting Someone You Like
It doesn’t matter if you met them yesterday or you’ve had them in your “Maybe” folder for months. The goal of texting isn’t to impress — it’s to connect.
That means:
- Making them feel something when they hear from you
- Creating a vibe of ease and curiosity (not pressure)
- Letting your personality lead the way — not a script
Flirty texts aren’t about being clever 24/7. They’re about creating a digital space where your energy shines through — and where they want to keep coming back for more.
Now, let’s get into the actual texting magic.
1. Lighten the Mood: Fun First, Feelings Later
Let’s get this out of the way — nothing kills chemistry faster than intensity too early.
If you’re trying to create attraction, keep your tone playful. Funny. Slightly mischievous, even. Be the kind of person who lightens someone’s day, not adds pressure to it.
Instead of:
“I really like you and think we should hang out.”
Try:
“You know… if you keep texting me this consistently, I might have to start liking you. Dangerous move.”
See? Flirty without the cringe.
2. Make Them Smile Without Trying Too Hard
You don’t have to be a stand-up comic — but if you can make them laugh or even just smirk? You’re golden.
Try:
- Light teasing (nothing mean)
- Silly nicknames or inside jokes
- Voice notes or GIFs if the vibe fits
You’re not auditioning. You’re vibing. Let it feel like you.
3. Tease Them… Gently
Playful teasing is one of the oldest flirting techniques in the book — and it still works.
Not sure how? Start with something they mentioned and twist it a little.
“Wait — you actually like pineapple on pizza? That might be a red flag. 😏”
It’s low-key, non-serious, and gives them a chance to play back. That’s the whole point.
4. Poke Fun at Yourself (Confidence Looks Good on You)
Want to instantly come across as fun and self-aware? Laugh at your own quirks.
“I just tripped over absolutely nothing and spilled my coffee. So basically, crushing today.”
Why this works: It shows you’re secure enough to be imperfect. And secure = attractive.
Confidence doesn’t mean acting flawless. It means being totally okay with being human.
5. Create a Vibe With Mini Roleplay
One underrated texting move: casual daydreaming or roleplay.
You don’t have to go full-on Dungeons & Dragons — just slip into a shared fantasy.
“If we were stuck on a desert island, who’s more likely to cry first? You or me?”
“Let’s pretend we’ve been married for five years. What do you think our biggest fight would be about?”
This kind of back-and-forth builds chemistry and memory. It’s playful and personal. Win-win.
6. Make Them Chase a Little
Listen — you’re not a game. But healthy attraction usually includes a little push-pull.
Here’s how to keep it interesting:
- Don’t reply the second they text (every time)
- Don’t flood their inbox with five texts to their one
- Give just enough to intrigue — not overwhelm
You’re showing you’ve got a life, and that they’re welcome in it… but not your whole world.
That energy is magnetic.
7. Say Something That Makes Them Feel Good About Themselves
People fall for people who make them feel good.
Send a text that spotlights something you genuinely admire — personality, style, humor, whatever.
“Lowkey jealous of how you always sound like you’ve got your life together. Teach me your ways.”
Flattering without being fawning. That’s the balance.
They’ll remember how you made them feel.
8. Match Their Energy (But Lead With Yours)
Pay attention to the rhythm. Are they replying quickly? Sending one-word answers? Sharing memes?
Mirror their energy — but don’t abandon your style.
- If they’re sending quick replies, keep it snappy.
- If they ask deeper questions, feel free to match the depth.
- If the convo slows, don’t panic. Give space.
Most of all, don’t force connection. Let it build.
9. Know When to Sign Off (and Leave Them Wanting More)
Ending a convo well is a power move.
Instead of texting into oblivion, wrap things up with warmth or intrigue.
“Alright, I’ve got to adult now — but this chat’s been dangerously fun. Talk later?”
It’s confident. Respectful. And it builds anticipation for the next time.
No one wants a never-ending text marathon. Quality over quantity.
10. Be Real — That’s the Most Attractive Thing of All
You don’t need to overthink every message.
The whole point is to create space for someone to get to know you — not a curated, polished version of you.
Let your texts sound like your real voice. Use humor, honesty, awkwardness if it fits. The right person will find it charming, not cringey.
The goal? Connection, not perfection.
The Takeaway: Flirting Over Text Is About Feeling — Not Just Words
The truth is, you don’t have to be a texting genius to make someone like you.
You just need to create an energy that feels warm, light, and genuine.
Make them smile. Be a little bold. Leave space for the back-and-forth. And above all — show up as your full self.
That’s the kind of person people fall for. Online, offline, and everything in between.
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